..."terrible mechanics of its dying"
Oh, how I love this line.
Cleveland
Wall - 02/23/2012 10:55 AM
Wow! So vivid. My favorite bits:-quick as
electric-spurted-Houdini like-arching up hopefully,
and gently rolling back onto the asphalt as
though to sleep-as though plugged in-hypnotized
by the terrible mechanics of its dying-and
conduct a wake (especially the word "conduct"
here, after all the earlier electrical imagery)I
think framing it with the birthday party makes
sense because the context of the incident
is germane, but I'd consider cutting lines
2-3 to get to the squirrel sooner.
Joanne
Leva - 02/17/2012 3:20 PM
For me, the poem ends at:...soon enough the
crows would (to will - make it an active voice)
come / and conduct a wake.
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comments:
Lorraine - 03/08/2012 8:58 AM
..."terrible mechanics of its dying" Oh, how I love this line.
Cleveland Wall - 02/23/2012 10:55 AM
Wow! So vivid. My favorite bits:-quick as electric-spurted-Houdini like-arching up hopefully, and gently rolling back onto the asphalt as though to sleep-as though plugged in-hypnotized by the terrible mechanics of its dying-and conduct a wake (especially the word "conduct" here, after all the earlier electrical imagery)I think framing it with the birthday party makes sense because the context of the incident is germane, but I'd consider cutting lines 2-3 to get to the squirrel sooner.
Joanne Leva - 02/17/2012 3:20 PM
For me, the poem ends at:...soon enough the crows would (to will - make it an active voice) come / and conduct a wake.