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to provide comments and feedback
In offering
responses to the poems submitted for the gallery, please make
them positive and helpful, identifying what lines you are
pulled to and, if need be, maybe what lines might need a little
more work. Perhaps talk about what moves or intrigues you
in the poem or what it triggers in you. Maybe even consider
writing a poem in response to the posted poem. Let's make
this an on-line workshop that respects the poet's ambitions
for the poem.
~ CB
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One
Part Memories, Two Part Tears
by
Marsha Stevens
comments
I held the plaster from her room in my hand.
The pale peach color was like the sunset,
but not beautiful, it crumbled in my heart.
My Father's room,
green like the new spring grass,
was sprinkled over the lawn, sparse but visible.
My eyes filled with tears.
Someone's voice was saying move on.
Why do you say that?
Are you crumbled plaster without a color?
Shabbat
Tryptich i
by
Ronald Fischman
comments
I advanced into the silence
to commune with God.
I did not see God I saw Iris.
Or better, spire of iris, violet on cream satin.
Rise spire of violet, seeds of plum
carry my mute soul to these plum eyes,
when gazed upon, by yours, fulfilled.
Shabbat
Tryptich 3
by
Ronald Fischman
comments
The people knew I would offer my sweet voice
sending our prayers above the currents
wafting heavenward faster than air
those chosen would grind on, voice
wobbling in leaden braces, bearing the liturgy like sackcloth.
Cain, you got a bad rap.
Would that I could stride in like a dues-paying member
with first fruits of lucre, smoke rising straight heavenward.
Cain offered the strength of his own sinews,
the sacrifice found no favor
I the grace of my own voice
the sacrifice found no favor
God sent an enormous mantis,
wings chartreuse, silky in the spotlight.
swirling in my music, she spun to me
alighted on my cheek.
the offering found favor
I must remember to pray before insects
Salting
the Hibiscus, a Response Poem for CSM
by
Ronald Fischman
comments
I you died on me
like Rachel on the path to Efrat
though I plantedfedwateredweeded
though my blood watered your soil
you died on me
abandoning the torments
I alone will stare out of
glass stained blue with sorrow
as I walk your gravesite I
sprinkle salt then I pour
I pour salt so that I may never plant
never forget
how I loved you
how I grieved
my grief is your
life eternal
The
Mountain Thinks
For Pam Perkins-Frederick
by Joanne Leva
comments
The
mountain thinks
it is the same
with no you.
The stars
know
for sure.
Truth
is,
the time
you sit nameless
at night
like a different
moon, you
call the good
morning bird.
Surprise
Me!
by Joanne Leva
comments
Lead
me O cluster
verb and noun with studs
of praise
Have
me look
through windows
and gaze
through
lattice shade
Behold, kiss me
sweet to taste
lovely
with ornament
Make me
keeper of your fate
Visualize
actualize realize
by Jessamyn Fox
comments
Unraveling
around the spiral
Spiritual transcendence
Into a world much like this one
But parallel
Different
Thought forms breed reality
throwing out energy
Everything waves and undulates
with force of motion
A web of
Magic and choice
Will and regret
Tug on one thread
weave another
Emotion
Motion
Balance
Seeking the spiral
Hold hands and pray
bring this world closer to the next
Hallucinating
reality
by Jessamyn Fox
comments
Unable
to tell
Which is which
Time is hesitating
And I move forward
Through this dreaming
Sea of uncertainty
Visions come to me
Voices over the distance
Speaking laughter
And inside jokes
With myself
In a way
An imaginary friend gets it
And they always get it
Having more substance and integrity than most real people
Or are they the real people and me the imagining
Suggestions over the void
Voices
Delusions
I see myself in splendor
Understanding what cannot be understood
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