2013 SARAH MOOK
POETRY PRIZE RESULTS

6-8 FIRST PLACE

Noelle Timberlake
Words, Words, Words




COMMENTS FROM CONTEST JUDGE MARIE KANE:

The first place poem for grades six through eight is a parody of the "To be, or not to be" soliloquy in William Shakespeare's Hamlet. The poem hits all the notes of an accomplished parody by imitating syntax, language, tone, and intent of Hamlet's famous speech to achieve a comic effect.

There are many interpretations of Hamlet's soliloquy that are textually, historically, or otherwise based. For the sake of analysis here, we'll state that the soliloquy explores the contemplative question of many disheartened and tortured souls: is it better to live with life's "sea of troubles" or to end one's sorrows with death?

Hamlet's "rub" is that he is not certain what death has in store; its dreams "give us pause." Since death is a place from which "no traveler returns," Hamlet acknowledges that we must live to "bear those ills we have." (For the sake of clarity, all of Shakespeare's words are in italics; the student's words are in regular type.)

The writer of "Words, Words, Words" successfully satirizes Hamlet's soliloquy by confronting a less weighty choice - to speak or to remain silent - with equal seriousness and distress. How wonderfully ironic that the parody satirizes a famous speech with the question of whether to speak or not. Like other successful parodies and in spite of the 'lesser' topic discussed, the writer poses a provocative question.
The poem begins, "To speak, or not to speak, that is the question" and continues with its own 'life or death' dilemma - should we speak and fill the air with "blather," or remain silent and endure "the dread of something after quietude" and "risk repose that we know not of?" The writer makes the choice to "bear the palaver."

The parody successfully mimics Shakespeare in the next section. After the famous opening, Shakespeare's soliloquy reads: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer / The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, / Or to take arms against a sea of troubles / And by opposing end them?" The excellent lines of the parody are: "Whether 'tis vulgar in the mouth to make / Phrases and clauses of outrageous verbosity / Or to take arms against the sea of letters / And by opposing, end them." I appreciate that the writer retains whole lines of the original that enhance the parody's meaning, not detract from it. The inclusion of words that relate to language itself work very well: "in the mouth," "Phrases and clauses," and "sea of letters" - a marvelous turn of phrase.

The next seven lines of Shakespeare communicate Hamlet's dilemma:

To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd

The parody's lines demonstrate the writer's excellent imitation of the structural elements and tone of Hamlet's speech with comic effect:

To verbalize: to form;
No more;
And by a lull to say we end
The distress of a million man-made words
That flesh is heir to,
'Tis a translation
Wordlessly to be wished. .

In the parody, much of Shakespeare's syntax, diction, and meter are adhered to with great success. The young writer even parallels the original's parts of speech, with nouns of amount: "million" and "thousand," nouns that describe pain: "distress" and "heart-ache," nouns that end in 'tion': "translation" and "consummation," adverbs: "wordlessly" and "devoutly," and the all-important " 'Tis." The author smoothly incorporates into the parody the original's phrases of "No more," "to say we end," "that flesh is heir to," and "to be wish'd."

The parody continues to spar with the original in the most important lines of the speech. The heart of the "To be, or not to be" soliloquy occurs from lines nine to twenty-one in which Hamlet wrestles with the dilemma of choosing life with all of its pain, verses death with all of its uncertainly. The question of what the "sleep of death" holds must be measured against life and its "whips and scorns of time," "pangs of despised love," and "law's delay." To correspond with Hamlet's lines, the author of "Words, Words, Words" superbly handles his or her own dilemma of speech or silence. Many words in the parody deal with the concept of speech; also, I've italicized the words and lines from Hamlet's soliloquy that cleverly remain.

To verbalize, to form:
To form, perchance to babble:
Ay, there's the rub
For in that state of gab what expressions may erupt?
When we have shuffled off this wordy coil
Must give us pause:
There's the respect
That makes misfortune of great diction
For who would bear the acronyms and profanities of time
The teenager's slang, the businessman's insult,
The pangs of despised speech, the law's phrase,
The ignorance of office and the disdain
That hearing words of the unintelligent takes
When he himself his blather makes
Without a censor?

I admire much in this section. The perceptive line, "When we have shuffled off this wordy coil," solidifies the talent of the writer. The wickedly funny lines, "That makes misfortune of great diction," and "who would bear the acronyms and profanities of time" poke fun at Hamlet's soliquoy that asks serious questions about knowledge and existence, while the parody ironically and effectively uses his very words to trivialize these matters. Retaining the exact rhyme and anastrophe in "That hearing words of the unintelligent takes / When he himself his blather makes" establishes this writer's clever adaptation. The word choice of "blather" is perfect. Also, the fact that the writer retains Shakespeare's "we" is vital; both questions are universal, not personal. I especially appreciate the comparison of having a "censor" for one's speech to Shakespeare's " bare bodkin" (suggesting a dagger) to end one's life; the sharpness of both is clear, making for a gifted parody indeed.

In the last third of the soliloquy, both Hamlet and the writer of the parody make their choices. Hamlet wonders:

. . . . who would fardels bare
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?

The parody's excellent interpretation of this internal debate follows:

Who would fardels bear,
To discuss and consult under a weary word
But that the dread of something after quietude,
The undiscovered thoughts from whose brain
No sane man returns,
Puzzles the mind,
And makes us rather bear the palaver
Than risk the repose that we know not of?

The second line effectively uses the vocabulary of speech with "discuss and consult" and "word." Note the clever word choice of "quietude" instead of "death," and "brain" instead of "bourn." Also, "palaver" fits the meaning of the parody humorously and exactly. Plus, to "rather bear the palaver and "risk[ing] repose that we know not of" successfully mock the internal debate of the original.

In the end, Hamlet's conclusion and the writer's are similar. Hamlet states that in choosing life and its pains over death, "conscience does make cowards of us all," claiming that thought can deter action. In the parody, it is speech that causes inaction - or, in this case, silence. The writer's quandary of speech over silence is ingeniously summed up as: "Thus connotation does make cowards of us all." (Note that that both nouns begin with the letter, 'c'.) Instead of Shakespeare's "native hue of resolution," the parody presents the "native hue of conversation" which is "sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought," an astute use of Shakespeare's phrase. At the end of the soliloquy, Hamlet laments that the "enterprises of great pith and moment / With this regard their currents turn awry, / And lose the name of action.

The parody expresses the upshot of "to speak, or not to speak" in this way:

And action of great brainwork
With this regard their ideas turn awry,
And lose the name of knowledge.

The rest is silence.

For the author of "Words, Words, Words," the "blather" and "palaver" of speech is preferred to the "risk of repose" even if it means our "ideas turn awry" and we "lose the name of knowledge." The author adds this last line, "The rest is silence," as a coda to emphasize and almost mock his or her own choice of filling the air with useless words.

The effect of parody can be simply comic, but more often the imitation is the result of great respect for the original, as I suspect it is here. This young writer has achieved a high level of parody and humor by closely studying and appreciating the syntax, diction, intent, and meaning of the original. This first place winner is a perceptive reader and talented, mature writer whose accomplished work is very enjoyable to read.

Thank you for the privilege of reading your work!

Marie Kane
Final Judge, Sarah Mook Poetry Contest
engmrk@aol.com