COMMENTS FROM CONTEST JUDGE MARIE KANE:

This first place poem for grades K-2 is direct in meaning and inventive in language. In its explanation of the protective elements of nature, the poem is purposeful, its metaphors are captivating, and the word choice is original.

The poem is built around one-word nouns: "Trees," "Stems," "Leaves," "Flowers," "Grass," and finally, "Nature." The poet then accentuates these nouns with descriptive language.

In the opening, "Trees" are "great green giants / peering from above." They are also "like an army protecting its citizens." I especially enjoy this writer's use of personification, metaphor, and simile to describe trees and their relationship to people below. The verbs used are notable-"peering" and "protecting." This alliteration works well with the example used in the second line with the letter 'g', as quoted above.

The poem then uses a metaphor to describe the trees' "Stems," which are "tentacles grasping the leaves." This comparison to the firm grasp of an octopus is second-hand; the word 'octopus' is not mentioned, only one aspect of an octopus is, "tentacles,"-a mature use of metaphor. Again, note the focused verb, "grasping." Next, "Leaves" are described as "small umbrellas / protecting tiny plants below," with "beetles camouflaging beneath." The theme of protection continues with delicate and specific wording; the use of 'camouflage' as a verb elevates the poem's language.

At the end of the poem, "Flowers" are metaphorically described as "lavender perfume bottles," and "Grass" is "a carpet / brushing the soles of your feet." Again, the speaker uses creative language in description. Last, the poet finalizes this tribute to nature with "Nature / The land of protection."

I enjoyed this poem's language that describes nature's ability to protect, its innovative use of metaphor, and its stately structure that effectively moves the poem to its grand conclusion.

Thank you for the privilege of reading your work!

Marie Kane
Final Judge, Sarah Mook Poetry Contest
engmrk@aol.com