POETRY PRIZE RESULTS
3-5 SECOND PLACE
La Jolla, CA
COMMENTS FROM CONTEST JUDGE MARIE KANE:
This poem is a creative look at the world under the ocean. In this travelogue under the sea, the poet imagines what it would be like to be a "Marine Biologist" who "dove beneath the waves" to discover the undersea world.
The four-line first section introduces us to the writer wondering what he or she would "discover" in this imaginary job. The longer second section reveals what a future marine biologist might view under the ocean such as an "aqua centipede," "shrimps" [sic] and sharks, maybe even an octopus." As an explorer of the ocean, the speaker states, "I'd go down deeper beyond the rush" (a marvelous phrase to depict quieter, deeper water) to enjoy the "display" of a "reef with lots of coral . . . that they so kindly give." There, the writer would see the "Scalloped Hammerhead, descending on the reef" before the marine biologist dropped "further still" into the "vast blanket of darkness" to observe a "Saber tooth eel looking for prey" that is "silhouetted against the sunlit water above." All of these descriptions of aquatic creatures in their habitat invite wonder at the inhabitants of the ocean.
The third section describes the speaker's further descent. "Deeper I go" until an imaginative creature, a "vampire o toothis" is seen, after which the writer describes sinking "down, down, down." There, a "scampering crustacean" leads the speaker to a "feeding frenzy" taking place on "the bottom." It is certainly wise that the writer does not ignore nature's harsher side in this poem.
At the end of the poem, we find that the poet
The original phrase, "talk to the blue" perfectly expresses this writer's creative yearning to become a marine biologist.
In this poem, the glory and reality of ocean life are expressed and imaginative sights are described; these make for a delightful and expressive poem that is a pleasure to read.
Thank you for the privilege of reading your work!